Life is hard enough before a divorce or major break up. Aside from working to pay the bills and keep food on the table, the little details tend to wear us down. Those little things, like washing our clothes or putting gas in our cars, are magnified and intensified after divorce or a major break up. If you are dealing with children and divorce at the same time, the stress is multiplied again.
After divorce, and especially during a divorce, the frustration you used to feel at the DMV is twice as intense. Spilling coffee on your shirt makes you much more irritated. You stub your toe, and you are ready to punch your fist through the wall. A lot of people even ignore their basic human needs such as eating and showering because they are so emotionally distracted. To make things even more difficult, you need to deal with your divorce amidst every other stress in your life. You are on your own, all of a sudden, and probably feel unsettled and lost. Coping with divorce or a major break up can be devastating, depending on the person and the relationship. But no matter how hard things seem to get, you can always create a new routine to bring things back into clarity.
Manage Your Routine, Manage Your Stress
A lot of men and women have trouble keeping focus in their every day lives after divorce. The confusion and stress of the divorce process can go a long way in adding frustration to your daily life, and suddenly living alone again can hit like a bag of bricks.
Fortunately, a well-prepared routine to manage your new lifestyle will lower your stress levels and guide you to make the right decisions for your own success.
The first step is simple. Make a list of the tasks you need to accomplish on a weekly basis. These are not major assignments like writing a chapter of your novel or learning a new language; I am talking about things like showering, shaving, cleaning your home, doing yard work, washing clothes, cooking, grocery shopping. Basic essentials. Write down what you need to do and approximately when you plan to do it. Don't forget to include some exercise; this will help to release some of your stress. If you get lost in your emotions and forget your routines, the emotional impact of the break up could become worse than it would have been.
The next step should be peppering in some fun and relaxation. Add a 15-minute bike ride to your Tuesday routine or go to a movie with friends on Friday. You don't have to schedule exactly what event you would like to do; the key here is to put time aside for you to relax, have some fun, and let some of your stress melt away. Some people think they don't deserve this relaxation time because of all the things they need to get done, but that will only make your life even more stressful.
Next, begin making a list of the most important tasks you need to complete. Be sure to mark down when you need to pay your bills, attend important business meetings, order and pick up medical prescriptions, fix your car, etc. This list will help you plan your essential tasks in advance, leaving you in control. Without the stress of trying to remember everything you need to accomplish by memory, you will have more time to develop your new independent lifestyle and get over her!
Finally, make a list of the tasks you need to complete for your divorce. The divorce process includes a lot of paperwork, meetings, and often confusing rhetoric, so keeping up a plan of action will simplify the process. It will also ensure you don't forget any major steps. Mark down when you need to show up in court, meet with your ex, hire an attorney, sign papers, etc. You can even review your outline with your attorney to ensure you did not miss any important steps.
Most people don't realize how much their lives would change if their significant other disappeared, but there is no reason for anyone to go through the process in a confusing haze of emotions, due dates, paperwork, and even more emotions. By creating a routine, you will be doing yourself a massive favor in the long run. Before you know it, your routine will become second nature and your life will begin to make sense again. |
