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You realize your life has changed, so it's time to make some adjustments. It might feel hopeless at first, but working to improve your new situation will help you get past the upsetting emotions and thoughts more quickly. By creating a new environment to thrive in, you will be leaving your last relationship where in belongs: in the past.
The first adjustment should be getting rid of any reminders you have of your ex and the relationship you once had. These reminders will only serve to prolong the healing process and make you hold on to a relationship that no longer exists.
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| Take a walk through your home and find all the reminders you can. This includes photographs, videos, songs, her clothes, and any of her belongings that remind you of her. We mean everything, guys; get rid of the mixed tape she made for you, the anniversary cards you saved, and the gifts she has given you over the years. Go in the fridge and throw away the food she made. Clean her hair out of the shower. Delete her name from your phone, along with any text or voice messages she might have sent you. It doesn't help you to keep around reminders of your failed relationship.
You should also take care of any connections you have with your ex online. Remove her from your email address book, remove her from your Facebook friends, and get her screen name deleted off of any online chat services you use. Do not follow her on Twitter. It will also help if you avoid the mutual friends you have with your ex. The last thing you want is to hear about how amazing your ex girlfriend is doing with her new job or new boyfriend. This all might seem like more than you expected, but it will help you avoid those random reminders of your failed relationship. Plus, you will be guiding yourself into the next tip: cutting off communication.
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| Part of your lifestyle adjustment will be avoiding communication with your ex. Not communicating with your ex will be a major change in your daily life. We tend to take these things for granted, things like discussing our days or talking about the TV show we just watched. It's very common for recently separated people to realize the many things they took for granted in their relationships. The important thing here is to not let those realizations affect your actions or decision-making. Remember that you are going through a separation, a very difficult process. These feelings are natural. Again, the key here is to avoid letting your fond memories and wishes affect your decisions now that you are single again. The relationship is over, she knows that, and it's time for you to move forward.
Avoid making major life decisions. During a break up or divorce, the human thought process can be clouded by intense emotions and thoughts. Making major decisions during this time can often lead to negative outcomes and even more emotional frustration. Things like purchasing a new home, picking a new job, or buying a new car can wait! If anything, you will be approaching these new ventures to make yourself feel better about your separation. Just wait, at least a couple of months, before making any major decisions that will seriously affect your life. The pain of a separation can affect the human body in more ways than most people realize.
If you are going through a divorce, you obviously have more adjusting to do than someone going through a break up. If you have children with your ex, things will be even more complicated. Luckily, you can successfully get through the divorce process by doing your research, keeping track of details, doing some leg work and acquiring legal assistance if you need it. Before you rush into your divorce, take the time to learn about the process and understand what will be happening. The more you know about the divorce process, the fewer risks you will face. Many people use the divorce process as a way to get revenge on their exes, but later regret it and find that they gained nothing from it. Avoid this altogether. Also, be sure to avoid bringing your child in-between you and your ex. In many cases where parents are divorcing, the children end up as the real victims. Do not blame them for the divorce, and do not allow them to place blame on themselves. Be sure they know the separation is not their fault and that you love them just the same. Make sure you don't argue, yell, or disrespect your ex in front of your children. Again, the keys to getting through a divorce in one piece are to do your research, do your leg work, and seek legal help if you need it! For more extensive tips on getting through the divorce process, take a look at our "Divorce Articles" section. |
